The Dumbest Sh*t Computer Store Employees Hear Everyday

annoying things customers say

I like talking about computers, phones, and pretty much anything tech related to anyone who will listen. Naturally, when I had the opportunity to work at a computer store, I couldn’t sign the contract fast enough. I loved working there, especially being surrounded by people just as ready to geek out about the latest phone, or television. Working with technology has exposed me to some interesting opinions.

As with any job in retail, you can hear customers say some nonsense. When dealing with computers though, there are a few things you hear consistently. Here are some of the more common things I hear on a day to day basis, and what I wish I could say on the job:

“Can you give me a cover/case for this device for free?”

Unless the manufacturer gives the cover with the device, the store has no obligation to take on the burden. Secondly, in many cases, if a case is included, whether from the manufacturer or offered by the store, the device is normally €10-€20 more expensive, so you’re not really getting it for free.

“If I buy two, will it be cheaper?”

No. We’re not selling pastries. These are devices that companies invested a few million to research and develop. They determine the prices and giving any sort of discount often results in a loss for the store.

“I want something cheap but fast”

Pick one.

I can understand that not everyone can splash out on a laptop. But you can’t expect to have the latest hardware with all the bells and whistles on the cheap.

“Oh, by the way, I need to run photoshop on this”

This is something that almost put me in trouble a few times. You’re talking to a customer, they don’t want to spend too much. Fair enough, you find something within their budget. Everyone is happy, and you’re going to prepare their brand new laptop. While we’re walking to the cash point, they drop the bombshell: “Oh, I need to run this resource-intensive task”, it’s generally Photoshop, video games, or in some extreme cases, video editing. You know for a fact that the laptop they chose will not support it.

Quick tip: if you’re going to buy something to run a specific program, check the minimum requirements. This gives 2 advantages: Firstly you give the salesperson a starting point, and secondly, you won’t buy something that is completely overkill. Which brings us to the next one.

“I want this for basic home use”

Then why the hell are you buying a €1000 gaming machine?!

“That’s the final price? You can’t discount it any more?”

This was the one that never failed to make my eye twitch.

“You can play games on this right?”

Sure, If you don’t mind playing at slideshow speeds.

“Oh I’ll just overclock it”

You can skip on switching on your heater in the winter then.

Seriously though, firstly Laptop CPUs aren’t even overclock-able, and secondly, even if they were, they would run stupidly hot, even more than they already do. And thirdly, no amount of overclocking is going to make your €300 laptop run Adobe After Effects.

What was the worst thing you’ve ever heard a customer ask? Tell us in the comments below!